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theWMNSclub blog

Bi-weekly musings from Keli & Dami

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Friends First.

Updated: Jun 20, 2022

When I was in my early to mid-20s, I really believed I’d met my “for-life” girlfriends. I thought, this is it. We’ve been through the mud together - from pulling all-nighters to meet deadlines at university, to break-ups and later some weddings. But boy was I naïve. By my late 20s, my friendship group looked completely different. By 30, I couldn’t help but ask myself,


“Where did it all go wrong?”

And,


“Am I a bad person for not wanting to keep those friendships anymore?”

Girl, I’m now in my early 30s and I’m starting to realise that as I grow, all the relationships I’m in (romantic, platonic and family-related) have to evolve and change with me. And if they can't, it’s okay to make new connections with people who align with me.


Now I’m not saying “new year, new me” and I’m also not saying block and delete at every argument or miscommunication. What I’m saying is people are forever changing and life is a never-ending journey of getting to know yourself. So, it’s actually unrealistic to think you’ll keep all your girlfriends from as far back as primary school with you till the end. Not to say it’s impossible, and if it does that's amazing. But, if it doesn’t happen, it’s not the end of the world.

 

By now, you're probably wondering how theWMNSclub came about. Well, Keli and I met a few years ago and for some years we were more like acquaintances. We naturally gravitated to one another, since we were in very similar stages of life. Single, independent and making boss moves in our separate fields. What drew me close to her was her positivity and spiritual tenacity.


Now Covid was traumatic, but it was a blessing for our friendship in particular. During a time where people felt isolated and relationships were stretched, it really pulled us closer together. As a single woman living alone in London, I felt extremely alone during the lockdown. I thought I’d overcome previous trauma from rejection and heartbreak, but feelings of loneliness came rushing right back in those weeks or months in isolation. As soon as restrictions were lifted, I was more than ready to be outside! I pushed through social anxiety and reached out to Keli for dinner one day. She accepted and that was it! Over the next few months, we bonded over the many things we had in common and supported one another through really trying experiences. I’m convinced this was how our connection truly took a form of its own. Just like that, once acquaintances who saw each other once maybe twice a year at a mutual's event - now became sisters.


Over time, we realised we had one other thing in common – the desire to make meaningful connections with new friends and a passion for encouraging women in all areas of life. Here came the birth of theWMNSclub. With a world increasingly depending on social media apps to help meet, build and maintain relationships; we wanted to bring back the old-fashioned way of connecting – real life interactions. I’d like to say messaging on WhatsApp everyday was cutting it, but if I'm honest regular dinner dates and nights out were integral to solidifying our bond.


The foundation of Keli and I’s friendship is love. From this love stems grace, respect and intentionality – and this is exactly what we want to extend to all of the women in our community. Think of theWMNSclub as a big group of friends. We want everyone in this community to feel loved, supported, encouraged and most importantly like we can grow together. We hope to provide a safe space where positivity can foster and everyone can be their authentic self in a respectful way.


Anyway, if there's a nugget I'd like you to take, it's this -

“If you want friends, you have to prove yourself friendly.”

Making new friends as an adult is incredibly daunting. As women we can sometimes struggle with this for many reasons - from distrust from previous experiences, to having to wear too many other hats in our day to day lives. Fundamentally, making friends boils down to something very simple. If you want to make more friends, there’s no other way than to put yourself out there. It's also imperative you extend the love and respect you need to those around you. If I hadn't reached out to Keli that day and we didn't treat each other with the friendliness we wanted for ourselves, we wouldn't have the friendship I so cherish today. And who knows, perhaps theWMNSclub would have never existed.


If you haven’t already, do sign up to our mailing list – it’s where you’ll get direct contact from us about upcoming events, blogs and other ways to connect with the rest of the community. We’re chuffed you’re here and really do hope we give you the platform for you to create connections that count.



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